The Palace, Ballroom is a good place for making new friends and enjoying dancing. However, there is a strict requirement to wear formal long dress. But don’t worry, near the access of Ballroom, there are a couple of free dresses for ladies and gentlemen. Dressed up, and you can start your adventure.
At the entrance of the magnificent palace building is an information desk; the hostess of ballroom would welcome you there. She would speak friendly to you and help you if you need any assistance. Entering the building, inside is a gorgeous room; going up stair, on third floor there is a big dance square. Usually people dance there and make friends.
The atmosphere is comfortable. There are some little things that you can try right click to give hug or kiss to your dancing partner. There are gentlemen who work here are very good and would politely invite you to dance.
Outside the hall of dance square on third floor, there is a large balcony with tables and chairs that you can enjoy tea time with friends. The view is quite good from the third floor balcony. It is also a nice place for lovers. There are many little buttons you can right click to have some interactions with your partner. All in all, you can enjoy your romantic moment here with the people you love.
At the entrance of the magnificent palace building is an information desk; the hostess of ballroom would welcome you there. She would speak friendly to you and help you if you need any assistance. Entering the building, inside is a gorgeous room; going up stair, on third floor there is a big dance square. Usually people dance there and make friends.
The atmosphere is comfortable. There are some little things that you can try right click to give hug or kiss to your dancing partner. There are gentlemen who work here are very good and would politely invite you to dance.
Outside the hall of dance square on third floor, there is a large balcony with tables and chairs that you can enjoy tea time with friends. The view is quite good from the third floor balcony. It is also a nice place for lovers. There are many little buttons you can right click to have some interactions with your partner. All in all, you can enjoy your romantic moment here with the people you love.
[4:23] Heather Alenquer: http://journalisticwritingclass-heather.blogspot.com/
回覆刪除[4:23] Heather Alenquer: i am still talking about the ball room
[4:24] Heather Alenquer: actually i don't know where to go find stories
[4:24] alicealice Zepp: ballroom can be good story : )
[4:25] Heather Alenquer: so i go there linger around and talk to the hostess at the information desk
[4:25] alicealice Zepp: ya
[4:26] Heather Alenquer: and go third floor to see if i can meet someone
[4:27] Heather Alenquer: i think there is worker of the ballroom
[4:27] Heather Alenquer: he invite me to dance
[4:27] Heather Alenquer: well i think seeing the avatars dance is so amazing
[4:28] Heather Alenquer: then i took the pictures
[4:28] Heather Alenquer: i am fraid that it is too simple
[4:29] Heather Alenquer: afraid*
[4:29] alicealice Zepp: well I think you can still describe your helpless situation- you don t know how to find story
[4:29] Alina Roxley: i think in ur news u just talk about the settings and the ecology in the ballroom
[4:29] Alina Roxley: makes it look like an advertisement for the ballroom
[4:29] Heather Alenquer: yes i think so
[4:29] alicealice Zepp: and take a pic of the hostes
[4:30] Heather Alenquer: so i have to change the direction
[4:30] alicealice Zepp: hostess
[4:30] Heather Alenquer: or some interactions with people
[4:30] Alina Roxley: u can talk about what happened to u in the ballroom
[4:30] Alina Roxley: make it a story of an adventure
[4:30] alicealice Zepp: yes, your advanture in there
[4:30] Alina Roxley: like which guys u danced with
[4:31] Heather Alenquer: um i see
[4:31] Heather Alenquer: so i have to focus on people
[4:31] Heather Alenquer: ok
[4:31] Alina Roxley: ya it's good u say the atmosphere there is comfortable or something
[4:31] alicealice Zepp: you can add more personal feelings
[4:31] Alina Roxley: u can make it further
[4:32] Alina Roxley: talk about what u did inside in a vivid way
[4:32] Alina Roxley: more detailed
[4:32] Heather Alenquer: ok
[4:32] Alina Roxley: like when u dance with some guy , how romantic u feel
[4:32] Heather Alenquer: not detailed nough
[4:32] Heather Alenquer: enough*
[4:32] Heather Alenquer: ok
[4:32] Alina Roxley: or u think it's not romantic
[4:32] Alina Roxley: because it's virtual
[4:33] Heather Alenquer: well it is strange
[4:33] Alina Roxley: the way u feel
[4:33] Heather Alenquer: but i thought he is nice
[4:33] alicealice Zepp: yes
[4:33] Alina Roxley: ya u can write u feel it strange
[4:33] alicealice Zepp: then you can describe and explain your feeling of strange
[4:33] alicealice Zepp: ya
[4:33] Alina Roxley: and true feelings and things
[4:34] Heather Alenquer: ok
[4:34] Alina Roxley: ya it would be cool
[4:34] Alina Roxley: true and profound and sharp thing
[4:34] Heather Alenquer: i see
[4:34] Cloud Clarity在线
[4:34] Alina Roxley: although the atmosphere is good and people r nice
[4:34] Alina Roxley: but u feel strange
[4:35] alicealice Zepp: you can tell readers why
[4:35] Alina Roxley: would be good point to write more about what u did inside and how u truly feel :)
[4:35] alicealice Zepp: your feeling toward the ballroom and SL
[4:35] Heather Alenquer: um ok
[4:36] Heather Alenquer: focus on feeling
[4:36] Alina Roxley: it would make ur news mor profound, deep
[4:36] Heather Alenquer: ok i will revise that
[4:36] Alina Roxley: ya the feeling and what u did inside :)
[4:37] Alina Roxley: like "how u feel when dancing with a guy"
[4:37] Alina Roxley: u can even describe the look of the guy and his personality
[4:37] Heather Alenquer: oh
[4:37] Alina Roxley: and if everything is good
[4:37] Alina Roxley: how come u feel strange
[4:37] alicealice Zepp: yes, describe things with your own insight
[4:37] alicealice Zepp: it will be a good point
[4:37] Alina Roxley: u can analyze ur feelings
[4:38] Heather Alenquer: that's the point
[4:38] Alina Roxley: ya
[4:38] Alina Roxley: use activities u did to address ur feelings
[4:39] Alina Roxley: it would make readers feel sharing ur experiences :)
[4:39] Alina Roxley: and ur feelings
[4:39] alicealice Zepp: yes, it will help you make it not too sinple
[4:39] Heather Alenquer: so the content is not enough. i will add it:)
[4:40] Heather Alenquer: thank you:)
[4:40] alicealice Zepp: : )
[4:41] Heather Alenquer: make it like personal experience rather than advertisement
[4:41] alicealice Zepp: ya
[4:41] Alina Roxley: ya make it deeper :)
[4:42] Heather Alenquer: i got it
[4:42] alicealice Zepp: good : 0
[4:42] Heather Alenquer: thanks for your advice~
The reviewer thinks it is better to describe the helpless situation of not knowing how to find the story. Also, to take a picture with the hostess is good. The editor thinks the story is simply describing the setting and the ecology, so it looks like advertisement. She suggests that it would be deeper to write more detailed about what happened to the author and what the avatar did inside vividly. For example, you can write about the guy you met and danced with, his personality, and some of your personal feelings.